Confronting Generational Trauma and Community Silence
“My parents didn’t get what they needed, but I can give something different to the next generation.”
When dealing with generational trauma, we must take a critical look at all the dynamics at play: How did we get here? Why did we ignore the behavior? Where did these harmful patterns begin?
As I reflect on the impact of addiction and mental health in my own family, I cannot help but think how different things might have been if my mother’s mental health needs had been addressed when she was a child. Early intervention could have changed the trajectory of her life. It might have kept her out of jail and even prison. Instead, like many families who do not trust the system or fear judgment, we “managed” it internally. We masked the issues, we adapted, and we stayed silent.
But where does that silence come from? For many of us, it is rooted in the culture of our communities. These are communities where asking for help is seen as weakness, where shame keeps us from seeking support, and where the fear of being stigmatized prevents open conversations about mental illness and substance use.
I have seen firsthand how untreated mental health challenges can spiral, often exacerbated by drug use to numb pain or cope with trauma. Over time, this creates a dangerous cycle: impaired thinking, crisis behavior, and eventual entanglement in the criminal justice system. In many communities, this cycle has become so familiar that it feels normal.
My father’s life could have been different too, if only he had received what he needed from the people around him. He grew up in an environment where love was not shown, where hugs were absent, and where emotions were never nurtured. He was pulled into the streets at an early age and became entangled in behaviors that eventually led to multiple prison stays. But beneath all that was an unmet need. He was a boy who never learned how to express love or empathy because it had never been shown to him. And because of that, he struggled to show those things to his own children.
How often do we see someone like “Crazy Joe” in the neighborhood and brush it off, laughing or shaking our heads instead of intervening? We have normalized the symptoms of mental illness to the point of invisibility. But invisibility does not mean safety. It means neglect. It means suffering in silence.
We must do better. As a community, we must break the silence and work collectively to address the lack of mental health care and accessible resources. Only then can we begin to reduce recidivism, restore dignity, and support those most affected by cycles of trauma, addiction, and incarceration. Healing starts with acknowledgment, but it must be followed by action.
Imagine what could be different if we stood together, saw each other as human beings first, and stopped being so quick to judge. What if we focused on the good in people, not the color of their skin, their past, or their circumstances, but the talents they bring, the wisdom they have earned through life experience, and the skills they are ready to share? You never know what could empower you if you gave someone a chance instead of measuring their worth by what they lack.
Judging a book by its cover might cause you to miss a chapter that holds the answer you’ve been searching for. When we live with love, learn from one another, and extend grace to ourselves and to others, we open the door to transformation. Your past does not disqualify your purpose. If you have been to prison, who cares? Use that pain as fuel. Turn it into your purpose. Become a messenger. Share your gift. Your story might be the very thing that changes someone’s life, even your own.
405 Magazine, a city and lifestyle publication for central Oklahoma, aims to enrich the lives of Oklahomans by providing relevant content that informs, entertains, and intrigues readers. The magazine's impact stems from its focus on local people, places, events, dining, and culture, fostering enthusiasm for the metropolitan area. Through its award-winning team of writers, photographers, editors, and designers, 405 Magazine strives to create content that resonates with longtime residents, newcomers, and visitors.