Giving Our Youth Tools, Not Labels
“We must teach our youth to be in control of their mindsets because the way they think influences the way they live.”
Let us choose to give our youth tools, not labels — through guidance, patience, and presence.
As caregivers and adults, we often do not take the time to understand that our kids are absorbing everything they see around them. Some of those behaviors and feelings stick with them, and unlike adults, children do not always know how to handle the pressure. We sometimes mistake their acting out as disrespectful, when in reality, many of them are simply mimicking what they have seen from us or from the people in their daily lives.
We need to do a better job of valuing our youth and their feelings. Even small acknowledgments can take a child a long way. They will remember those moments, and when they grow older, they will pass that same compassion on to their own children. Kids, just like adults, are like sponges, they absorb everything around them, whether it is good or bad.
If you see a child hurting because they have experienced trauma, let us not dismiss them by saying they are “just looking for attention.” Often, they are coping the only way they know how. When communication is not modeled at home or in their environment, children lack the skill set to express themselves, which is why it must be taught.
The good news is that kids often already carry strengths within them. They just do not know how to recognize or use those strengths as tools. That is where we come in. If you notice your child using healthy coping skills, running to release stress, drawing to express themselves, or playing a sport to stay focused and give praise. Encourage them to lean into those outlets as positive ways to manage emotions. Something as simple as saying, “I’m proud of how you handled that” helps build confidence and reinforces healthy behavior.
We must also teach our youth to be in control of their mindsets because the way they think influences the way they live. If they cannot communicate effectively with others, they risk missing opportunities, relationships, and the confidence they need to thrive. "Having good communication skills is just as important as knowing how to cope in healthy ways. When kids learn both, they gain the confidence to share their feelings and connect with others on a deeper level."
So, what can we do as parents, mentors, caregivers, peers, and community members? It starts with modeling and teaching healthy communication tools:
Active listening — Give kids your full attention, make eye contact, and learn to reflect on what you hear, so they know they are understood.
“I” statements — Encourage them to express feelings with “I feel…” instead of blame-filled words. This reduces conflict and opens the door to problem-solving.
Pausing before reacting — Teach that it is okay to take a breath or step away before responding when emotions are high.
Open-ended questions — Ask, “How did that make you feel?” or “What do you think we could do next?” to invite deeper conversation.
Positive reinforcement — Praise effort and honesty, even when kids do not respond perfectly.
When we provide youth with these tools, we show them that their voices matter and that they can manage emotions in healthier ways. Support does not always require big gestures, it can be as simple as checking in after school, sitting down for a real conversation, or reminding them that it is okay to feel and okay to ask for help.
Every child deserves to feel heard, supported, and hopeful. When we listen, guide, and equip them with both coping and communication skills, they do not just survive, and they thrive. Together, we can raise a generation of resilient young people who know how to speak, listen, and live with strength and compassion.
405 Magazine, a city and lifestyle publication for central Oklahoma, aims to enrich the lives of Oklahomans by providing relevant content that informs, entertains, and intrigues readers. The magazine's impact stems from its focus on local people, places, events, dining, and culture, fostering enthusiasm for the metropolitan area. Through its award-winning team of writers, photographers, editors, and designers, 405 Magazine strives to create content that resonates with longtime residents, newcomers, and visitors.